“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.”
William James - 1842-1910
This week I’ve been mentally all-consumed by one thing: my big race this Sunday.
To capture what’s been racing through my head, I wrote this piece yesterday, which I wanted to share with you all here too:
I’m terrified.
In 48 hours I’m setting off on an epic adventure. It’s been in my calendar for nearly a year now and my heart starts racing just thinking about it.
And as much as I try to focus on the “controllables” i.e. the elements I can actively influence, I can’t stop going down “what if” spirals.
What if I fail?
What would my family think of me?
For context, my adventure is an ultra-marathon (32miles) up and over several mountains including the UK’s highest one.
The people towing the start lie are all super fit, light runners.
I am not.
I’ve been training using a Hybrid Athlete approach, which means progressing simultaneously with my endurance training as well as building my strength base.
This means I’m carrying a lot of extra weight compared to most others, which would be ok if the aim was to just slog it out, but there are harsh time cutoffs we have to meet to progress from one stage of the race to the next.
And when I was researching background info for the race, it led me to the YouTube channel of an ultra-runner who regularly challenges himself with these types of races. Curiously, he had three videos on his channel. Why? Because it took him 3 attempts to complete it…
So naturally, my inner demons keep poking their head out saying “Look at his guy, he looks like a runner. But he struggled! Tobi, there’s no way you can make it in time. Just quit now.”
But this fear. These demons, are the ones we all face when we set ourselves these incredible challenges. When our goals are so far outside our comfort zone that we get this instant adrenaline spike just thinking about the ‘dreaded day’.
The easy way out is to give in.
Let the demons win.
Find an excuse.
Let yourself down.
But for what?
Because you’re comparing yourself to others? Because you push past your comfort zone? Because you seek greatness in the most important battleground of all: YOU VS YOU?
I have used that fear to fuel me over the past few months. Sure, it wasn’t an “ideal” prep. I don’t have time to go running 12+ hours a week. I have a family and a business to look after.
So I adapted.
Long runs? Get up at 4am.
Needing to trek up a mountain to build endurance and leg strength? Take the kids.
And the result of it all? A summer spent getting leaner as well as stronger and forging memories with my kids that will last a lifetime. And yet it might not be enough for this race, but embracing the challenge and using the fear of failure as fuel has made me better. And it will help you too to level up in whatever arena you choose to step into.
And the other important mindset change we need to embrace on our journeys of personal growth is gratitude.
I GET TO do the run.
I’m healthy.
My wife and kids adapted their schedules for the weekend so I can go and run this race.
Yet still, I’m terrified.
But I thank my demons for coming out and challenging me. Because once the starting bell (or in this case bagpipe) starts the race, I’ve already won.
And if you want to follow along, my Bib number is 180 and here is the link for the tracking website:
I also wrote a short article addressing something I hear very often from parents of 2 or 3 kids. “How does it work with 6? Two are enough for us!”. There’s no magic involved, I think most often people are overseeing a very important piece to the puzzle. I address it here:
Why Big Families Work
This Week’s Picture of Scotland
From a wonderful walk up in the Queen Elizabeth Forest Park
And if you’d like to talk more about forging balance in your own life, just email me here.